Say WHAT?
by Metoria
Summary: The Most BS'd story I have ever written. my first crossover, and first co-write.. be prepared for craziness oc's and mayhem everywhere.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Say what…?

Disclaimer: This is a majorly BS'ed story that is just meant to … actually it isn't really meant for anything in particular! XD haha! Anyway. OC's belong to me and my friend/Co writer - Leah.

…

"Colleen, don't even THINK about touching that!"

"Aww but Kaileeda it's SHINY! Don't deny me the Shiny." Colleen whined as she was dragged away from the rainbow colored, spinning, shiny vortex of doom.

"I'm denying you the shiny!" Kai knew her insane friend wasn't going to listen, but she had to stop Colleen, or else there might be a repeat of last time… Her friend's lack of complaint worried Kai. "Umm... Colleen?" She turned to the friend she dragged behind her. A fake innocent look was placed on the other girl's face. "Alright what are you planning?"

"I'm not planning anything…" Colleen said averting her eyes.

"Uh-huh- you expect me to believe- Ack-" Kai was grabbed by Colleen and together they went into the rainbow colored spinning shiny vortex of doom. "AHHHHHHHhhhhhh!" Their screams became quieter as they… fell.

…

Meanwhile Yusuke and Kuwabara were walking home from school talking about how that little pipsqueak of a Koenma was on their tails lately when…

"WAaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!" THUMP THUD

"OW! Get it off! Get it off!" Kuwabara yelped as Colleen sat contently on top of him.

Kai was sitting on a now half conscious Yusuke who quickly snapped back to reality. He looked up to see the girl glowering at the other.

"That was fun!" The red headed girl exclaimed.

"You're kidding right?" Kai asked.

"Of course not!"

"We just fell from the sky all because you wanted to touch 'The Shiny'!"

"Uh-huh!" Colleen finally looked down. "Hey… Who's this guy that I'm crushing the life out of?"

Kuwabara jumped up causing Colleen to go flying.

Kai got off of Yusuke who stood.

The young Spirit Detective watched the two suspiciously. They seemed like regular huma- No, wait, not regular humans… Okay so they weren't normal… at least the one named Colleen wasn't. He wasn't too sure about Kai just yet.

"You can't just touch anything that happens to be shiny!" Kai scolded.

"But, but you…"

"Hey, girls…" Yusuke tried to interrupt.

"Ooh Ooh, I have an idea!" Colleen declared taking a super hero pose. "Let's change the subject!"

Kai face palmed. She turned to the boys. "I apologize for my friend's irreversible stupidity."

"Uh-huh and just who are you?" Yusuke and Kuwabara asked.

"I'm Colleen the Queen of Wonderland!" Colleen said twirling in front of Kai who immediately shoved her aside. "Wah!" CRASH!

"She is Colleen and I'm Kaileeda but just call me Kai."

Yusuke decided to talk to the sane one. He looked over to Colleen who for some reason was lying in a pile of pots and pans... where they came from he had no idea. "So where did you come from?"

Kai said nothing and just looked up.

"Ohhhh! Not shiny!" Colleen said from behind Kai disapprovingly.

"What are you talking about?" Kuwabara asked her.

Colleen pointed down the street to a large creature coming their way. "It's a Mischievous Torpedo Demon!"

"I've never heard of such a thing." Kuwabara said.

"It's there isn't it?" Colleen retorted playfully.

Kuwabara sighed and together he and Yusuke defeated the creature.

"Wow, you made it look so easy!"

"It was easy." Kuwabara replied.

"Like a slice of a butter knife!"

Everyone looked at her.

"What? You haven't heard that saying before? You must have!"

"I think you mean a hot knife through butter." Kai corrected.

"Oh right."

"Where did that demon come from anyway?" Kuwabara asked Yusuke.

"From the Shiny!" Colleen replied.

"It seems that when we came through the vortex, we distorted the space time continuum of your world."

"Wow Kai that was smart!"

"Yeah and?"

"I wish I could be smart too…" Colleen said dreamily.

"Sometimes I wish you were too…then I think of the possible mayhem you would cause after careful planning."

Colleen chuckled nervously as though she was plotting but wasn't about to admit it. "Riiight..."

Yusuke and Kuwabara anime sweat dropped at the two girls. "Come on let's go to Genkai's and find out exactly what's going on." Yusuke offered.

"Fine by me."

Colleen started humming a filler tune.

…

Five minutes later…

WHOMP! "It doesn't take only five minutes to get to Genkai's." Kuwabara scolded.

"Owwie…" Colleen dropped her time card and held her head. "It does in the episodes."

"They have to do that to save time." Kai said casually explaining things.

"Kind of like when do you wanna take a short cut when you're on a road trip so you fold the map so you only drive on the parts exposed?" Colleen took out a map and demonstrated.

"…You don't ACTUALLY do that…do you? Because, that would explain all the times we got lost on our camping and road trips!" Kai took a menacing step towards Colleen.

"No…well I mean.. about that.. I just uhm... meep!" She backed away and hid behind Kuwabara who didn't really know what to do.

"Genkai? You here?" Yusuke asked walking in.

"I was wondering when you'd show up." An old woman's voice sounded. "So they are the ones responsible?"

"Yeah I guess so. What exactly are they responsible for?"

"Sit and we'll discuss it." Yusuke and Kuwabara entered followed by Colleen and Kai.

"Yukina! You look lovely today!" Kuwabara said rushing over to his true love.

"Oh Kurama, Hiei you're here too?" Yusuke asked.

"And me!" Botan came from the other room with tea.

Colleen stood back and watched as everyone sat in a circle to face each other. She smiled and skipped over to the group. "Duck…" She put her hand on Yusuke's head. "Duck…" then Kai's. "Duck…" Then Kurama. "Goose!" She smacked Hiei on the head.

He leapt up, angered and chased her around the group. She slid into his spot like a baseball player getting to base and sat contently. "I guess you're it!"

Confusion filled his features. "What?"

Kurama moved over to give Hiei some room to sit.

"So what do we do?"

"Koenma asks that you come to his office to get the details, but you're going to have to close up the rift that they created. Koenma will give you the tools you need to do so." Botan informed.

"If he has the tools then why is he having us do it?" Hiei asked crossly.

Colleen had been studying Hiei for a while now. "You know... you're almost as short as Genkai."

Kurama had to hold Hiei back from attacking the girl.

"Because the tool he's giving you is the Key of Universe, which will be used to close the dimensions portal that they opened." Botan explained going back to the subject.

"I didn't open anything I just … walked through it." Colleen said acting like she never said anything to Hiei.

"Dragging me behind you." Kai added.

"'Cuz it's fun!" She cheered.

"Well, I'll go let Koenma know you're on your way."

"WAIT! I wanna drive!" Colleen said pointing to Botan's ore.

"Well, if you really want to I guess I could-"

"Great!" Colleen grabbed it and mounted, Botan behind her. "So where is the gas pedal and the brake? Is there one? Oh and are there any traffic lights that I have to watch out for? I know that Red means slam on the brakes, green means slam on the gas and yellow means… DRIVE REALLY REALLY FAST!"

Whooossshhh!

The duo took off at the speed of light leaving a trail of dust behind them; in only a couple milliseconds they were a mere speck in the distance. Although Botan's screams were still quite audible.

"Poor girl didn't stand a chance…" Kai said shaking her head in remembrance of the blue haired girl who most likely had a heart attack. Then she looked at Yusuke. "So how are we getting there?"

…

In Koenma's Office he couldn't be seen by the naked eye... Unless you looked around there large stacks of papers and such on his desk then you'd find him but that involves some actual trying. Our heroes did no such thing. "Hm... I wonder where Koenma is. He should be here right?"

"What if another torpedo demon showed up and got him?" Kuwabara asked in a semi dramatic way.

Hiei scoffed. "Oh please." He looked over to a corner where Colleen was trying to pull a rope. Where the rope came from, he had no idea. It was apparently stuck. He walked over unsure why he was bothering to help her. He took hold of the rope.

"I don't think you'll get it loose." She told him.

"And why not?"

"Well you're just a short puny little boy, I'm probably stronger than you, I doubt you can do it."

"WHAT?" Hiei unconsciously yanked the rope in his anger and the next thing he knew he was covered in vanilla custard.

"Wow I was wrong! You're really strong!" Colleen said in an almost giddy fashion.

"You two quiet over there!" Koenma yelled pointing that the two. His papers some how disappeared.

"Now Yusuke-"

"Confetti!" Colleen squealed as she yanked another rope. Papers fluttered down from the ceiling covering everyone.

"Umm... Colleen…" Kai started as she looked at the shredded papers. "Where did you get confetti?"

"I made it out of the papers that were on the desk." Colleen said twirling in the paper snow.

"YOU WHAT? Koenma exclaimed a vein clearly about to explode out of his cranium. "My pay check was in there!"

"Oops…" Colleen said cringing.

"You'll have to compensate me and pay me back with an arm and a leg!"

"An arm... and a... leg?" Colleen asked at first sounding afraid. They raising her fist she declared. "I'll be Edward Elric!"

Yusuke and the others just stared at her. "Whose Edward Elric?"

Colleen gasped. She reached inside her pocket and pulled a picture of Ed Elric out and showed it to the boys.

Kai face palmed again. Why Colleen had that picture was a mystery to her. Colleen didn't even fan girl over him. Or so she thought. She looked over to Hiei who was not only covered in custard but had papers sticking to him, like the honey and feathers gag. He reached for his sword. "I wouldn't do that if I were you!" Kai warned.

"And why not?"

"She likes shiny things she'll take it away before you even get the chance." Kai explained.

"And Kai likes pointy things… soooo either way you won't end up with the sword." Colleen added playfully.

"Hmph!" Hiei pulled the sword free only to find it was gone from his hand in an instant.

"SHINY!" Colleen said running across the room followed by a now evil looking Kai. "I DEMAND POINTY!"

"They're both insane!" Kuwabara replied.

"Oh no! I'm sane just psychotic." Kai stopped and turned to reply.

"And I'm eccentric just crazy." Colleen clarified.

"Yes…unfortunately. Sadly you also have a short attention span." Kai declared as she snatched the sword away from Colleen's hands.

"Wha- hey!"

"WHAT? That didn't make any sense." Kuwabara exclaimed.

"Maybe in your book!" Colleen said yanking the sword away from Kai who was trying to slice the curtains.

"No not the curtains! Kurama stop her!" At Koenma's orders Kurama took out his rose whip and wrapped it around Kai's waist.

"Ow." Kai said trying not to move.

"I remember one time I got caught in a pricker bush. I was stuck there for three days because Kai wouldn't rescue me! Now how does it feel!" Colleen said evilly snatching the sword.

Angered by her friend's outburst the vines somehow burst into flames and her eyes began to glow red.

As Kai chased her frightened screaming friend, Kurama and Hiei tried to get the sword back. Oh and Yusuke got the details for the mission.

"They owe me big time, so to pay me back they will have to accompany you on the mission." The toddler boss crossed his arms.

"But why?"

"Because I don't want them here!" Koenma replied pointing to the somewhat still existent curtains.

"Oh… Wait! So we're baby sitting?" the group turned to look at the four fighting over the sword.

Kurama had the girls under each arm as they kicked and screamed and fought over the sword while Hiei tried to grab it. He got punched and scratched a few times but he was finally able to get the sword. "Just let me kill them and solve the problem!"

"You can't kill me!" Colleen declared.

"And why not?" Hiei demanded putting the sword in her face.

"Because then the story would end and then there would have been no point in writing it! Not that there is a CURRENT point in writing it…"

"She has a point." Kurama agreed.

Hiei grumbled and put his sword away. As though it were a kind of switch the two girls went back to normal.

"Could you put me down the blood is rushing to my head." Kai said casually.

"Weeeeeeee! This is fun!" Colleen on the other hand was swaying back and forth and tossing her hair this way and that. "Weeeeeeee!"

Kurama put the girls down but kept close in case they freaked out again.

"I'm sorry you had to see her like that." Kai said apologizing for her friend.

"Me? What about you?" Colleen said pointing a pink fingernail at her friend.

"You're the nut job not me." Kai replied after careful thought.

"Oh yeah.. I guess you have a point… Haha! Get it? Ha Point!" Colleen was the only one laughing. "Ah-ha… ha.. hm.. yeah.. funny.. I gotta say… ehhh…" Colleen side stepped out of the scene.

"Well, now that that's over with, Yusuke why don't you explain the mission to everyone. Kai can explain it to Colleen afterwards." Kurama walked over to a chair and sat down.

"Yeah I'll have to use little words so I don't confuse her." Kai said looking over to the corner where Colleen was sulking, looking exactly like Tamaki Suoh. Mushrooms, shadows and all.

"Alright... uhm ... What we have to do is... figure out what the heck we're doing..."

"YUSUKE!" Koenma yelled

"Alright alright!" Yusuke sighed. He didn't see why he had to explain it to everyone. Koenma was still staring at the shredded curtains. "We'll have to travel to the rift between dimensions to close the hole that is there. We'll meet a woman there with the powers to aid us in our mission first. Her name is Yuko. And she has the Key to the Universe."

"Yuko, huh..." Kuwabara said to himself.

"I've heard of her. In name only." Kurama informed. "But apparently she is a witch who can grant any wish. She always demands compensation."

"So what are we going to give her?" Hiei asked gruffly.

"We'll have to-"

"It's taken care of." Koenma informed. "Just go."

"How?"

Suddenly the group was surrounded by a whirlwind.

"!" Colleen was seen flying around in the whirlwind very much like a female version of Peter Pan..

"Well I guess I'm in for a bad hair day..." Kai said, her hair in shambles from the wind.

End of Chapter 1


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

...

The whirlwind slowed and came to a stop and dissipated from around them. They looked before them to find a lovely house. A woman standing, waiting for them, as it seemed, a boy about their age with her.

Colleen and Kai looked to one another and then to the woman.

"KYA! It's Yuko!" Colleen squealed skipping gleefully over to the woman.

"So you are Yuko-san?" Kurama asked with an intelligence far above Colleen's.

The woman looked at him almost knowingly-

"What you talking about you stupid author! Yuko knows, like, EVERYTHING! She is amazingness in the flesh!" Colleen said waving her arms around, scolding the one who wrote this.

Kai nodded in agreement. "Colleen has a point."

"I'm flattered..." Yuko said sweetly. "...even if I already know it."

The boy next to her gave her a strange look as though he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Koenma sent us here to seal up the rift that was torn between our dimension and theirs." Yusuke explained looking over to the girls, one twirling cheerfully, and the other planting a trap to cause the other to trip.

"I see." Yuko said looking over to the girls. "It was inevitable that these girls met you. They must be very important for your future."

"PFT!" Hiei scoffed. "Don't be ridiculous. Those imbeciles couldn't possibly change our futures."

"Don't be so sure. Even the smallest chance meetings changes people in some way."

"I know I'm a little more tolerant of crazy people now." Kuwabara admitted.

"There now you see!" Yuko said extra cheerfully. "To grant your wish I will require compensation, which has already been received."

"We know as much." Kurama said.

"There for, let's have a party."

"Watinuki get the SAKE!" A small black critter jumped out of nowhere, demanded that the kid to get some alcohol.

"Huh? But, what about the rift?"

"It will be taken care of when it's time to go."

Kurama suddenly had a thought strike him. "What was the payment?"

Yuko looked over at him. "Koenma offered your free time to me for the next twenty four hours!"

"WHAT?" The group echoed.

"Oh Boy!" Colleen exclaimed then ran over to Watinuki. "SAKE!"

"Hold on!" Kuwabara grabbed Colleen's collar. "Aren't you a bit young?"

"PFFTTT! I'm close enough." She broke loose and helped herself.

"NO!" Kai screamed as she made a mad jump for the sake bottle. She was too late; Colleen downed the offering given to her and..."Yuck! This stuff is gross...oooh...I dun feel so good..." Colleen began to wobble and wiggle.

"Great...just...great. You just had to go and get her drunk. She's crazy enough as is and now she's going to be 20 times worse. WE'RE DOOMED, DOOMED I SAY! DOOOMMMEEED!" Kai ran around ranting and raving and throwing her hands in the air. Just the thought of what Colleen would be capable of sent chills down her spine.

"...Well...This is an unfortunate turn of events." Kurama turned to look at Hiei. "Do you think maybe we should tie her down. Kai does have a point."

"What are you talking about! I know plenty of people who are like Colleen. And, when they get drunk they go all emo and stuff." Yusuke replied. He wasn't too worried.

"Plenty of people? So, you're saying that you know plenty of people who would go around making confetti out of important looking documents, cause mass mayhem and destruction without actually intending it, all the while singing songs that make no sense and have nothing to do with anything? You know of people who go around saying "Looks like we're up a creek without a river" or "Shake after opening"? Well? Do you? DO YOU? Because I would LOVE to meet them and show them how horribly lacking they are when compared to this crazy person!" Kai had stopped her rant only to start another.

"But those are the best sayings of all!" Colleen cheered as she skipped into view then off again.

"Hmm... you have a point." Yusuke said but Kai was busy ranting to herself.

Suddenly the sound of a chainsaw sounded in the background. Everyone turned and saw Colleen wearing a frightening expression on her face wielding a chainsaw. "Allow me to carve this tree into a magnificent sculpture to show my gratitude for the SAKE! Oh and from now on mix mine with some cranberry juice! It will help with the taste!"

3 minutes later...

"Is she really drunk?" Kuwabara asked admiring the sculpture of Yuko and Mokona that Colleen had sculpted out of the nearest tree.

"You know, she seems more coordinated when she's drunk..." Kurama noted.

"And more annoying..." Hiei added as Colleen kept revving the chainsaw.

Kai was pacing and trying to think of a way to sober her friend up.

"Oh calm down! Here Join the fun!" Yuko handed Kai a drink of Sake.

The others had by now been drinking, but not to the effect of Colleen.

Colleen took another swig of her drink, this time with some juice to make it less bad tasting. "YUM!"

Kai had been drinking some herself and was actually calmer ... well only by a fraction... she was still ranting. "And when she ends the world, don't come crawling to me!"

Everyone had joined Yuko where she sat just outside the house. "So we're just to have a party?"

"Yes, that's right." Yuko said.

Moro, Maru and Colleen were skipping in a circle singing the Doom Song, "Doom Doom Doom doom DOOM Doom doom doom… doom doom doom dooooom..."

Hiei was sitting facing the other direction trying to resist the urge to chase them with his sword... however at that point in time he had no patience for such a thing. He leapt up and grabbed the nearest thing he could (a red bat that belonged to Yuko), knowing he couldn't pull his sword from it's sheath, having learned his lesson from the first time, and began chasing the girls who were giggling and laughing as they ran.

"I see they are enjoying themselves." Yuko commented.

Hiei's voice could be heard over the girls' laughter. "I'll kill all three of you!"

Everyone just looked at Yuko like she was crazy.

"Hey..."

Watinuki turned around to find Domeki standing behind him. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

"I invited him. Now where are the snacks?" Yuko Demanded playfully.

"WHY DO I HAVE TO ALWAYS GET THE SNACKS!" Watinuki asked.

"Because you cook the best food!" Yuko said cheerfully."

"Yeah..." Domeki said sitting down and making himself at home. "and don't forget the liquor."

"GAHHH!" Watinuki stormed into the house/shop to get to work.

Hiei was still chasing the girls with the bat.

15 minutes had passed since Watinuki went and got snacks and drinks. Hiei had stopped chasing the girls with a bat after Kai had stolen it from him and hit Colleen over the head with it. Everything was relatively normal...for now.

"It's so quiet and peaceful here..." Kurama said to Yuko.

"Hn."

"I hate quiet...it makes me think...thinking is bad..." Kai began to pace looking for something to do. "Colleen is still unconscious. So it's very-"

"I'M ALIVE!" Colleen declared mimicking Vash the Stampedes' victory stance.

"Hm, there are a few quotes that come to mind right about now...'Speak of the devil' being one of them..."

"Well, foods ready let's snack." Yuko said helping herself.

After eating and drinking their share... everyone dropped dead...okay they didn't drop dead... they just randomly fell asleep out of no where...

"YUKO! What happened?"

Yuko smiled. "They can't hold their ale apparently... accept those two..." Kai sat playing deadman's solitaire... whatever that was and Colleen and the girls were playing with everyone who had collapsed, and were being relatively quiet, which seemed odd.

The only ones that weren't affected were Yuko, the natural inhabitants of that dimension, and Kai and Colleen.

"Why did they pass out, they only had a little bit of sake..." Watinuki wondered.

"Not even..." Domeki added.

Yuko smiled. "Because they don't belong in this dimension and the rift is wreaking havoc on them."

"Will they be okay?"

"Oh of course... they'll dissolve away and wind up back at their home dimension. They didn't really have to come here. Koenma just wanted them out of his hair."

"So does that mean those two girls belong here?"

"That's right... they are just from another country."

"Who is this Koenma guy? Is he a strong magic wielder like you?" Watinuki wondered.

"Hardly he's a stupid toddler who runs the location between life and death and our world and the demon world."

Watinuki slammed his head against the wall. "A TODDLER?"

"Surprising stuff in alternate dimensions huh." Domeki said in the calmest tone you could imagine.

"You stay out of this!" Watinuki yelled while Domeki put his fingers in his ears and told his friend to shut up.

"You know those girls ALMOST remind me of you two... almost... they're more fun.

Watinuki glared at Yuko and noticed the bodies of the guests began to fade away.

"Time for them to go home." Yuko said.

"But I'm not done!" Colleen cried. "Super speed time!" She whizzed up next to Yuko.

"You two should be heading home too right?"

"I don't have a passport!" Colleen cried. "Hey Kai! Let's hijack a plane."

"Why not a boat?"

"KYA! You know I hate water!"

"Baby..."

"Koenma's the baby, not me! I'm a terrible-"

"Two year old."

"Heeeeeeeeeyyyyy..." Colleen whined after Kai. "That's not nice..."

"Yuko,"

"Yes Watinuki?"

"I thought they were supposed to stay here for a while longer."

"That wasn't possible."

"Why not?"

"They had no need for this shop."

"Then how did they get here?"

"A loop hole... but enough of that! Boring more SAKE!"

"UGHH!" Watinuki stormed off.

...

Meanwhile back in... YYH LAND...

"ughhh... what happened? Huh?" Yusuke woke up to find he was back in Koenma's office.

"Turns out she missed my paycheck!" Koenma cheered happily waving a piece of paper around.

"KAWWW!" A baby pterodactyl swooped in and stole the paper from Koenma's hand and flew away.

"!" Koenma nearly dropped his pacifier.

Yusuke looked around everyone was back... accept for the girls. "Hm..." He looked down at himself and in his pocket was a piece of paper. It was signed with a butterfly and it explained everything that needed to be.

Yusuke stood up and put the paper in his pocket as everyone else woke up.

Hiei rose in a rare form; calm. in fact he was very quiet.

"Miss your friend?" Yusuke teased and immediately got punched on the head. "Ow..."

"She is no friend of mine." Hiei went to stomp off but stopped. "Kurama you-"

"Uhhh... Kurama..."

"What?"

"PFFFFFTTTTT!" Hiei started laughing hysterically. "Your head! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Hiei was on the floor laughing.

"My head is funny?" Kurama asked.

"You know you look good with dreads."

"Dreads?"

Yusuke took Hiei's sword out and handed it to Kurama so he could look at his reflection.

"Oh my..."

"That's an understatement."

...

One week later at Colleen's house.

"Kai! KAI!"

"What?" Kai said looking up from her cross stitching. "I'm trying to be calm!"

"There's a shiny! There's a shiny again! Must touch i-"

BLAM!

Colleen was on the floor unconscious and Kai tied her up and tossed her in the closet. "I wonder if Yuko cares that I took her bat to keep Colleen under control." Kai mounted the red bat on her shoulder and walked back to cross stitching.

THU END

XD

….

This was meant to be a load of bunk… Buahaha! And I love writing this crap! XD


End file.
